Can being a mom be less overwhelming please?

Being a parent is many different things. Amazing, joyous, a dream come true, but my favorite way to describe it is OVERWHELMING. There have been many long days, followed by long nights, that it’s not until I collapse on my couch that I realize what a complete and utter mess my home is. So much for cleaning up our messes as we go! Psh, yea right! That monotonous cycle of sleep (or small naps interrupted by waking babies), cook, clean, play, cook, bedtime, repeat, leaves little time to enjoy your life and to maintain your sanity. Here are a few tips that can hopefully allow you more “Me Time” and moments of sanity.

Wake Up Early.

I know this is easier to say than to actually do but I promise you, 15 minutes makes a difference. I set my alarm to wake up before my kids so that I can get halfway through my first cup of coffee as soon as their feet hit the floor. I mentally go through my day as I sit at the kitchen island with my eyes closed. It allows me a few moments to prepare for the day and to start my day in the best mood possible before I’m met with a middle school attitude and toddlers whining.

Make a schedule and stick to it.

There are a thousand different schedules online you can use as guidelines but only you know what works best for you and your family. Improvise and create something that works for everyone. I am by far the best parent in the morning and my husband is a better parent in the evening. We both have our strengths and weaknesses but we do our best to give each other space and grace to do our best. I am the organized, backpack-checking, family schedule vault that remembers homework, projects and other random things. He can’t remember what day it is, but he knows the kids favorite snacks, toys, and ways they like to play and it helps immensely when I’m trying to make dinner and get ready for soccer practice.

Dedicate time for your significant other daily.

This can be hard and it’s so easy to say we have no more time to give, but this is also incredibly important. My husband and I typically find the time to really talk right after the kids are in bed. We typically sit for about 20 minutes and just go over the day we both had in detail. I’m a talker so my husband always does his best to make me feel heard. He is not a talker so I drag that out of him but he often will chat about work projects if I put the work in. He has often said that he appreciates my interest and my drive to be close to him and it makes me feel more a part of his days.

Plan a date night.

It’s perfectly acceptable to get a babysitter for the evening and then do nothing “date-like”. My husband always makes time to date me. Whether that’s us going to the movies and out to dinner, or whether that’s us grocery shopping and running errands at the end of the day, we both have the ability to just talk about our day and to be with each other. I can’t do the ships passing through the night routine so we do our best to find time to be together and enjoy the little moments, even if it’s only for an hour.

It’s okay not to be okay!

This is a big one. There will be times when everything is falling apart. Your baby is crying, you haven’t showered in days, you can’t remember the last conversation you had with an adult, and there’s NOTHING in the fridge, I mean, nothing. Like I said parenting is OVERWHELMING. Take a few minutes to breathe, relax, yell, or if you’re like me, cry. There have been countless days where I’ve just had to sit on the floor of my daughter’s room and cry too. It happens, but remember, you’re not alone. Sure, there are a few moms that you pass in the grocery store that have their hair done and makeup on while their kids are behaving perfectly but I can assure you, they are behaving that way because yesterday she had a meltdown and finally allowed herself to take a break!

The best advice I could ever give someone is simply this: The best way to keep it together is to allow yourself to fall apart. No one is perfect, and by taking time for myself, keeping a schedule, maintaining a healthy relationship and occasionally crying in the closet, I allow myself to be perfectly imperfect. Sure there are days when everything falls apart but more often than not, everything falls together. My husband and my children usually think I’m the most capable, competent mom in the world and for that, I’m so grateful.