Just the Tip: 5 tips on Regaining Sexual Intimacy

Bringing a beautiful child into this world is one of the most incredible things two people can do. There is so much love and tenderness in those moments that it seems like nothing else in the world matters… until you’re 6 weeks post partum. You rarely shower, you are running on caffeine and 45 minute naps and your husband is wondering why you aren’t loving on him too. Women tend to forget their own needs and focus solely on their child but for men, it isn’t that easy. It’s important to remember who you made that beautiful child with and to remember the reasons why you wanted to in the first place. Here are some tips on how to get back that feeling that seems to be long gone:

1) Rekindle that old flame

Many men have admitted to feeling left out or as runner up once a child is born. It’s important to constantly remind your significant other that you love them and that they are still a priority in your life. Although it may be hard, take some time away from your newborn and just be with your significant other. Discuss all of the hardships that come along with being new parents as this will also allow you to communicate what you need from each other in this difficult but incredible time.

2) Start Slow

There’s no need to start off on the night you hit your 6 week mark by recreating the night you conceived. Start by making out on the couch or just laying in bed holding each other. If it feels right and you’re ready, than jump each others’ bones, but if it doesn’t that’s ok too. Six weeks is the time given to let your body heal. It is not a magic number that works for everyone and it is quite common to not develop sexual desire again for a few months postpartum.

3) Talk About It

Making your intentions and your needs known helps avoid hurting your significant others feelings in the long run. Always remember to communicate with how you are feeling and where you are at on an intimacy level. That will help bring you both closer together and allow both of you to feel comfortable when the time comes.

4) Don’t Stress

Trust me, there will be a time when you are looking across from your significant other and you realize just how attractive and sexy they are and that’s all you can think about. That day just might not be today, and that’s alright!! Don’t put added stress on yourself to jump back in because you think that’s what the other person wants. I can guarantee that it would break their heart to find out that you truly weren’t ready and were just trying to please them.

5) Be Confident

I have heard SO many women say “I just hope it’s the same after”. Trust me, it is. One of the amazing things about the human body is that we can expand and create life and then contract back to our pre-pregnancy selves. I will honestly tell you, in my opinion, that sex after a baby is so much better. Your partner has already completely forgotten about the horrid things they saw in the delivery room and there is now an even more incredible bond that you two have. There is so much more love and admiration for each other now that you are both parents and have struggled and triumphed together. Hone in on that emotion, be confident in your incredible body, and everything else will be easy.

The day will come when things go back to normal with the addition of a child, it may be 6 weeks, 6 months or two years. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way to get back into sexual intimacy. Trust me though, there will be a day when you can say, “I am an incredible mother, I have an incredible partner and yes, we still have sex!” When that day comes, you’ll be wondering why you were ever worried about it in the first place.